Living Unbound

Tag: mind shaft

  • Dissolving Mind Shafts

    We talked about Mind Shafts here.

    So how do we dissolve these mind-shafts? Dissolving mind shafts can be practiced simply and easily as we go about our day. At the end of the day, when we find that conditioned thinking has labeled the day as a bad day or a stressful day or a depressing day, we can review the day in our mind, and make mental notes of three types of thoughts which caused that label to be applied.

    1. Identify the actual emotions we’re feeling (i.e. sadness, anger, whatever the predominant emotion is, in the current moment). = Emotion
    2. Note the labels that conditioned thinking has applied to the emotion (frustrated, mad, defeated) . = Label
    3. Note the story that is keeping that emotion and label in place (things should/should not be like this). = Mind Story
    4. Identify the actual situation, independent of the label, or the mind story, or the emotional reactions to the label and mind story. =Reality

    Examples:

    Conditioned thinking says “today was a terrible day!”

    1. We notice the actual emotion.

    (Example: sadness.)

    2. We notice the label, the evaluation.

    (Example: Terrible day )

    3. We identify the mind story.

    (Example: “he should not be so harsh and judgmental”)

    4. We recall the actual situation (reality), independent of the evaluation (label) and the mind story, or the emotional reactions to the evaluation.

    (Example: Father spoke in a loud voice to us.)

    Several important realizations can occur, every single time we make use of this technique, and it can be used effectively in any moment there is a sense of disturbance (i.e. stress, uncomfortable emotions, uncomfortable thinking, etc.)

    1. We notice that conditioned thinking has globally labeled our memory of the day in a certain way (“globally” meaning: the concept of “entire day” has been evaluated and judged to have had certain qualities), and we notice that emotions have arisen, based on focus on the labels which support conditioned thinking’s conclusion (“terrible day”). There were actually many non-terrible moments during the day, but attention focuses on the thought-labels which support conditioned thinking’s conclusion.

    2. We notice that the emotional reaction is always to the label; the evaluation and mind story; reaction is never to a fact. Mind-shafts are shafts made by focus on the mental and emotional reactions to the labels generated by conditioned thinking. Mind-shafts are a closed-loop of conditioned thinking which are utterly independent of the actual situation. If the facts of a given moment are labeled differently, the reaction of conditioned thinking is different, and the conclusions of conditioned thinking are different. “One person’s heaven is another person’s hell”, as the old saying goes.

    To one person, “father speaking loudly” might be an everyday event; an event they are used to experiencing; and therefore, an event their conditioned thinking doesn’t evaluate in a way that sadness is the reaction.

    To another person, “father speaking loudly” might not be considered harsh or judgmental, just his style of speaking.

    To yet another person, anger could be the emotional reaction instead of sadness.

    To another, momentary disturbance might be felt, based on specific conditioned thinking, but the evaluation about the conversation isn’t connected with any label about the nature of the entire day.

    And so, realizing this, we can notice: reaction is never to a fact, but only to evaluation about facts.

    Now, if it was a bad day or a “feeling down day”, we can consciously remember the moments in the day when we felt happy. This is the gap which breaks up, or dissolves, our sense of having had an otherwise bad day.

    For instance, maybe we enjoyed some morning tea; or maybe we smiled at someone or someone smiled at us. Maybe we laughed at a joke, or saw something that made us smile. Maybe we enjoyed a favorite song, or show, even for a few minutes, and so on. Remembering these pleasant or enjoyable moments, we can realize that these moments break up the imagined “continuous shaft” of unpleasant memories of each day.

    We can identify these moments that don’t fit into the labels/mind stories creating a sense of “low day”, and then break the day up into bite-sized memories of happiness and bite-sized memories of sadness or other “low” or “down” feelings. Doing this, we can thereby realize that the lows aren’t all connected, and that it wasn’t really a “low day”, after all. Rather, it was a day comprised, as all days are, of a fairly full spectrum of thoughts and feelings, both pleasant and unpleasant.

    We use up a lot of physical, emotional and mental energy (hence the physical, emotional and mental fatigue, which we call depression) in connecting the conditioned evaluations which create the sense of lows. Conditioned thinking then takes these mind-shafts and connects them, in order to make an imaginary mind-shaft of “one big low.” This isn’t to say, by the way, that depression isn’t an actual medical condition; it certainly is, as many of us know. Our purpose here is to uncover some of the dynamics which magnify depression, and artificially hold it in place. Depression is not a natural condition; it results from a combination of mental habits, and/or related biochemistry. When the causes of the mental habits are seen through, they dissolve. When these conditioned mental habits dissolve, they no longer increase any depression-related biochemistry.

    And so, dissolving depression-related mental habits, while doing things that dissolve depression-related biochemistry (such as exercise, engaging in spiritual practices, connecting with people, medication and so on), combined with the genuine, honest desire to be free from depression, can and does free one from depression. Realizing this, we can come to see a fundamental, empowering fact: stepping free from depression is within our power, and the means to do so is freely available.

    We start out with small things,; simply observing that the day is made up of moment by moment by moment, and that each moment is free of the previous (memory) and next (imagination), and that reaction is never to a fact, only to evaluation, will help us in dissolving these mind-shafts. And, amazingly, we’ll find that when all this artificially constricted energy is freed and allowed to flow naturally, that thinking mind naturally rests.

    At first the shaft may be imagined to be years long.

    For instance, conditioned thinking displays the thought:

    “I have been suffering from depression for 10 years.”

    Well, with some simple observation, we can see that the depression we felt 10 years ago, and the one we felt 5 years ago, and the one we experienced 6 months ago and the one we experienced a week ago, are not the same. We connect these and make it one long imaginary mind-shaft. In fact, if we are willing to remember any such time-frame honestly and accurately, we can see that any given time period had almost as many,  or in some cases, more moments which were experienced as happy, or at least acceptable, in comparison with depressing moments.

    And, so to dissolve these shafts, we can go back and identify the moments when we were not depressed. We can remember how we enjoyed a party or a movie or a vacation or a night out or a book or a trip or a job, and thereby see how these happier moments broke up the imagined “10 depressed years”. And so, the single shaft of 10-year-long depression is now broken into smaller “bite-sized” memory-shafts of depression. It no longer is a huge monster, but rather, a series of manageable “little monsters” that bothered us, over the course of 10 years, a time period that was happily interspersed with “little angels” of happiness, peace and enjoyment at times, too.

    Then, we’ll try to break up the current day; maybe break it down to half a day. Then as we keep identifying these breaks in the day, moments when you are not feeling low, a miraculous thing will begin to happen. Half-days will refine to hours, hours to minutes, minutes to seconds, and we’ll experience the reality that each moment of life, perhaps a second or two in duration, apparently, is utterly independent of the previous moment and the next moment. Ten seconds ago is every bit as dissolved as ten years ago. Ten seconds from now “hasn’t happened yet” as much as ten years from now “hasn’t happened yet”. It is all happening now, in reality.

    The second technique is actually finding the gap (which is experienced as silence) and living from this gap. This is a more advanced technique and worth trying, if however it seems impossible to do, let it go for now.

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  • Addiction, Recovery & Living Unbound

    Addictions come in various forms. The most well-known and talked about addictions are substance-related addictions like alcohol, drugs, food, nicotine, caffeine etc. Behavioral addictions are their “close cousins”, and almost as well-known: addictions to gambling, relationships, work, and so on. We can put a finger on these addictions; they’re tangible.
    However, there are many subtle addictions that are very hard to catch because they are an ingrained part of our life style, and in some cases, supported by the cultural myths of society as a whole.

    These are mental-emotional addictions which arise from the errors of our conceptual conditioning. They can include addiction to excessive worry; attachment to people, events, memories or imagination, and so on. The list of these types of addictions can be nearly endless: identifying with memories of abuse; living in despair, attached to feelings of low self-esteem, feeling like a victim, and many more. These are conceptual addictions. We don’t see them, because there is no substance to pinpoint, and so, these addictions can be incredibly insidious.

    One of the most glaring addictions of all is the one known as “romantic love”, and it’s one that society in general tends to support. Clarifying that its dynamics are addictive isn’t a criticism; the way to Living Unbound is inherently about allowing misperceptions to dissolve. One of the biggest keys to letting misperceptions dissolve is to see things as they are; that’s all. At the beginning of a romantic  love relationship, both people are usually quite high. Then, they need more and more of the same (person, activity, etc.) to feel that high, but before too long, the high fades. Because the other person no longer provides the high they once did (which never actually came from them, anyway), they are resented; the “bloom is off the rose”, or “the honeymoon is over”, as the sayings go. Yet, even in such cases, if the relationship ends, there are usually withdrawal symptoms, sometimes severe. Just like every other addiction. And yet, the entire dysfunctional process is glorified in poem and song as not only normal, but wonderful.

    Have you ever known anyone who did not display these dynamics at the beginning, middle or end of a (so-called) love relationship?

    Many people are addicted to being depressed, as well. Yes, depression is caused and/or sustained by chemical imbalances, and in many cases medication is very important to keep it under control. We are not addressing that aspect here; any use of medication is solely between a person and the medical doctor who is prescribing their medication. However, when the mind gets used to a certain kind of behavior, then it is not just the chemical aspect that needs to be addressed. Conditioned mental attitudes and habits often cause the biochemical depression in the first place, and/or keep it in place. Even doctors often find it hard to determine which “came first”, the biochemical depression, or the thoughts, emotions and attitudes which led to it. Ultimately, this doesn’t really matter; if depression is caused by the latter, a person is no more responsible for these things than they are for biochemical imbalances.

    And that’s why many psychological issues are now being treated with more of a focus on behavioral therapy. The medication can only help to normalize the chemical imbalance. However, depending on how much depression has become a way of life with us, as far as habitual emotional and mental tendencies go, we will have to let go of the mental addiction to the depressive thinking patterns, as well.

    Many people cannot get over addictions because they think there is resistance to it. However more than overcoming resistance, healing addictions actually involves re-conditioning the mind; releasing the psychological conditioning which brought about the addiction in the first place.

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  • Living Unbound: Shifting Attention Technique

    The so-called “last mile” to freedom from any addiction comes from the power the addiction is perceived to have over us. The technique below is not intended to replace any needed medical advice or medical care which may be needed. However, at any level of addictive experience or perception, a  simple shift in attention can make a vast degree of difference in our level of success in stepping free from the thought-patterns which hold the addiction in place. It is also a great technique for any circumstance where obsessive worry, unpleasant memories or disturbing imagination may be occurring.

    When we’re trying to break out of any kind of  addictive-thinking pattern like this, and we have a strong craving for the object of our addiction, which can include addiction to the obsessive thinking or worry itself, if we can turn our attention to something other than our obsessive thinking about the craving for  at least 15-20 minutes, the craving will subside.

    The cynical thinking mind doesn’t believe this is true. However, anyone who has put it to the test, knows that it is true. The fears and worries which drive addictive cravings are what cause us to act on the cravings, and even a few minutes of breaking the “feedback loop” can help addictive cravings to disappear for hours. If enough of these cycle-breaks are put together and practiced regularly, this can literally make the difference between active addiction continuing, and enjoying freedom from that addiction. Applied in conjunction with the other teachings and techniques of Living Unbound, it can help us shift permanently from dreaming-bound in addictive thinking (of whatever type, even the socially-sanctioned fears connected with relationships, family, money and so on) to Living Unbound in reality.

    The craving may return soon, or it may not. This depends on the presence of triggers, and how susceptible we may be to  evaluating and reacting to those triggers. However, just shifting attention to something other than our obsessive thinking at such points, is amazingly effective in dissolving our sense of craving, every time we’re willing to actually do this.

    This technique works with breaking mind-conditioned emotional reactions, as well. There is a point when many of us may feel sudden anger or sadness, or possibly disappointment, or frustration or fear, because what is actually happening or not happening is different than our conditioning tells us should be the case.  This can even take the form of emotional reactions to evaluations about circumstances that have already happened, or that are imagined to have happened, or even that are imagined might possibly happen. Our emotional reactions are always to our evaluations, rather than to the reality of a given circumstance. Physiology and emotions follow evaluation, or lack thereof; not cirumstances.

    And so, if we can shift our attention to something other than the evaluations in our thinking that are generating the unhappiness, the unhappiness automatically dissolves. Automatically. It’s the way consciousness and perception actually work. If we’re looking at a computer screen, or printed page, we’re not looking behind where we’re sitting. If we turn around and look behind us, we’re not looking at the computer screen or printed page (unless we move them, of course). In the same way, if we’re focused on reading something, or playing with a child or pet, or watching a favorite movie, or enjoying a little time with our partner, or dancing or singing to our favorite music, we’re not focused on the conditioned evaluations that generate the unpleasant emotions described above. Reactions to a given perception or evaluation cannot be present when the perception or evaluation is not present. This includes thinking.

    And now, we’d like to invite you to re-read the paragraph above, slowly and carefully. Once you finish re-reading the paragraph above, we invite you to spend at least one full minute considering the implications of this information. Yes. Welcome to the very real possibility of the end of suffering in experience. When we say that Living Unbound is “Freedom Beyond Imagination”, what we actually mean is that Living Unbound is Freedom Beyond Imagination.

    We’ll experience for ourselves: when we focus our thoughts on something other that the addictive thinking, the evaluations which intensify our sense of craving, and/or which hold a given emotion in place, the intensity of the anger or sadness or the craving will decrease.

    You’ll even be surprised at how the emotions arising disappear., once we become used to shifting our attention away from the evaluations which generate suffering. Thinking mind is programmable. Conditioning is the programming. We can retrain our thinking and focus to follow new, healthier patterns. Practicing this technique diligently, we experience something amazing: we’re not slaves. Not to people, not to circumstances, or chemicals, or behaviors, or even our own thoughts. This technique has been proven “on the ground” in countless lives where Living Unbound is intended; within programs dedicated to recovery from addiction, within all major religions, and within all wisdom traditions.  This is because this technique works in harmony with how thinking, attention and consciousness actually operate. Once the evaluation-based triggers begin dissolve via the repeated practice of shifting attention, every time we do it, the strength of the cravings or habitual thinking decreases a bit more. It is literally being replaced with awareness of our ability to shift attention in the same exact way we can shift where we focus our sight, or our hearing. It may take a bit of time for the trigger to be completely gone, depending on how much hold the mental habit has on us, but every day, with consistent daily practice of this technique, the strength of the cravings and the habitual thinking reduce. We have almost all experienced feeling irritated by an intrusive, unwanted noise. If the noise continues or increases, our irritation usually continues and increases. But what if the noise stops? “Problem solved.” Same principle here: when attention shifts, the emotions and stress arising from our constricted, disturbed thinking dissolve; they cannot be present any more than the irritation we feel as our reaction to our own evaluation of the presence of a loud noise can exist in the absence of that noise. Unless, of course, we persist in thinking about the noise after it stops. And now that we know that shifting our attention away from these kinds of thoughts is as effective for thinking, as the stopping of an intrusive noise is for our hearing, we can begin to realize that mind is a sense and not a self, and thus, begin to move more clearly and surely into Living Unbound in reality.

    It’s a beautiful dynamic: the very tendency which caused us to feel enslaved: the reactions to the temporary focus of our attention, becomes the very aspect which frees us from feeling enslaved, and helps us to experience that ultimately, mind is a sense, and not a self. Mind, is a tool we can use, just like smell, taste, sight, touch and hearing; mind is not our master. It’s a wonderful, liberating feeling., experiencing this power, this freedom, that is always actually available.  Try this technique, and enjoy it, too.

    Another helpful reminder is to HALT, an acronym standing for “Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired”, and which reminds us of the 4 circumstances that tend to make almost all of us more susceptible to triggers. These triggers can be related to addictive cravings,  obsessive thinking, emotional outbursts, depressive thinking; whatever the reaction of conditioned thinking may be. These are the times when we need to HALT from the direction we’re headed, with our unpleasant conceptual evaluations. These are the times when it’s most important to HALT, and use the 15-20 minute Shifting Attention Technique, described above. If we notice when we have the strongest cravings, or the most susceptibility to engage in evaluations which generate further unpleasant thinking, it will be during one of these circumstances, more likely than not.

    Resisting cravings, triggers or other so-called temptations at such times works even less well than resistance usually does. “What we resist, persists”, as almost all of us have experienced and re-experienced, countless times. Shifting Attention on the other hand, can’t “not work”. Just as eyes move where sight is directed, and ears tune in to where hearing is directed, thinking moves where attention is directed. Thinking is the car, attention is the steering wheel. Letting the car tell us where we’re going is a good way to end up in some fairly unpleasant and even boring places, because thinking, the car, only knows where it thinks we’ve been. Shifting Attention helps us discover that Living is actually always here; Living, Unbound from the story that the car (thinking) is driving us where it has decided we’re going.

    Another system that can help a lot with transcending the basis for all addictive thinking and behavior is Real Love, developed by Greg Baer, M.D.

    Greg Baer, a former ophthalmologist, who tells his own story of transcending severe addiction and its cause, in his book Real Love, suggests that the primary cause of addiction is as a response to pain; the feelings of emptiness and the lack of what Greg calls Real Love: the awareness of wholeness which comes from true connection with others.

    “After extensive interviews with thousands of addicts,” says Dr. Baer, “less than one percent of them fail to respond enthusiastically to this definition of addiction and the clarification of the causes of drug addiction, whereas most of them have had serious problems with the usual definitions and explanations.”

    We can’t actually get away from Real Love. Just notice: there’s never a moment that’s completely free of the opportunity to give Real Love in some way, even if just in our thoughts, is there? Real Love is reality. Living Unbound is reality. Shifting Attention is one technique that can help us experience this reality for ourselves.

    As an additional Resource, and for further information on Greg Baer and Real Love, please see the Living Unbound overview on Real Love.

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